My wishes for all Moms this year: take care of yourself!
Dear Mammy…Becoming parents is a big change and a big challenge. Being a full-time mammy is quite a difficult task. And Christmas time, right behind the corner, can be scary and very demanding for some of us. So many things to do: shopping for food, special ingredients, research for culinary recipes, decorations for home, festive clothing, special gifts for children, friend’s children, friends of our children – all these presents to choose, to buy, to wrap to label… Definitely, it can be overwhelming!
It’s easy for us, mothers, to focus entirely on our family and to forget to take good care of ourselves as well. But our own wellbeing is just as important as that of our children and partner! A mother that feels good about herself is a happier mama and a sexier partner.
Isn’t it so easy for us mothers to forget about ourselves, to always put our children and family before ourselves? Aren’t we reprogrammed, the moment we give birth, to dedicate every second of the rest of our lives to the well being of our babies?
Step back and reflect. In the bigger scheme of things, hugely important parenting decisions like ‘which organic nappy brand is the absolute best for my baby’ are maybe not as important as they appear to us, over-worrying and over-achieving parents. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back, and reflect.
Never taking time for ourselves doesn’t, in the end, make us a better mum. It makes us stressed, unhappy, and tired. We need time to unwind, to feel good about ourselves, to be happy and loving and patient.
Take things with a grain of salt. No-one is perfect. Don’t be fooled by what you see, or what you think you should be! You don’t have to do it all! Kids generally love doing what you’re doing, so if you do something you love, your kids will love doing that with you. (For example, spending hours on the playground is not my biggest hobby, but I love cooking and crafting, and my kids love to cook and craft with me. It’s a way to spend time together we all enjoy.)
A change of scene can mean a change of spirits. When things are not going very smoothly, consider a change of scene. It can be as simple as putting everybody’s wellies on and splash puddles in the park for half an hour.
Take the parenting books with a grain of salt. There is so much advice and so many books targeted at new mothers, and it can all seem overwhelming and confusing. I think we often forget to listen to our gut and trust that we can make the right decisions for our family.
Sometimes the best thing I can do is to slow down, tune in and listen, really listen to my children to truly understand their needs.
Dr Montessori did always talk about the preparation of the adult and I am sure the holidays are no exception. We need to be calm so we can support our sometimes over-excited and over-tired children.
This holiday season I’m going to be well-rested, put on some classic festive films, turn on the festive lights, grab a blanket, and enjoy lots of warm tea and homemade cookies. I’m also a fan of a long bath, so that is surely a good way to prepare for, and recover after, any big festivities. And a walk into the park can’t hurt either.
Christmas is really a time for families to unite. It is a time to share all the laughter and cheers. During this festive season of giving, let us take time to slow down and enjoy the simple things. May this wonderful time of the year touch your heart in a special way.
Wishing you much happiness not just today, but throughout the New Year! Dear Mammy, remember… take care of yourself!